I’ve been discouraged by my health and healthcare the past 10 years or so. And tonight I’m feeling beyond frustrated. More so than I’ve ever been.

I began seeing a functional medicine physician recently, and while she hasn’t offered any amazing solutions for my health woes yet, she did enlighten me as to what likely caused the downward spiral of the past 5 years.

And I’m mad about it.

I have hypothyroid disease. That means I have too little thyroid hormone in my blood – so when my thyroid is unregulated issues arise with fatigue, sensitivity to cold, slow metabolism, uncontrollable weight gain, dry skin, puffy face, muscle weakness, thin hair, slow heart rate, stomach issues, impaired memory and mental sharpness. Well, those were my symptoms anyway. Some sufferers have it even worse with heart issues, high cholesterol, and more.

In late 2014 I started seeing a new endocrinologist who adjusted my meds for hypothyroid. I was thrilled. I saw fast results. My energy shot through roof, my weight began to regulate, I felt strong, and mentally sharp. It was dramatic. I felt amazing within 3 months and felt like my body was getting back to fighting shape. Of course, with autoimmune diseases most people just see outward changes. So everyone was asking what I was doing to lose weight and feel so much better. Then they seemed almost offended, as if I wasn’t sharing my miracle solution, when I’d reply with, “I am doing nothing.” But it was the truth. I did nothing. I hadn’t changed my schedule, lifestyle, or eating habits. I only had thyroid hormone medication adjustments.

What I didn’t know is that this doctor basically pulled the pin from the grenade that would blow up my health for the past 5 years.

The new physician that I am seeing explained that the medication changes made by that the 2014 endocrinologist caused a “thyroid hormone dump” in my body. My thyroid went into overdrive – every bit of stored thyroid hormone in my body dumped into the bloodstream at once, basically causing brief hyperthyroidism. I was living on pure adrenaline. The thyroid is the gas pedal for the body – thyroid hormones make everything go. So hyperactive means everything in the body is running at top speed. So that felt good for a minute, but eventually my body ran out of gas. I was depleted of thyroid hormone and began to decline within a year.

In late 2015 I started having stomach pains that led me down a path of eventually being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and then crohn’s disease in 2017/2018. I was so upset. I tried so hard to take care of my body. But it responded to nothing that I did to care for it. I’ve taken all the supplements and meds and juices and potions and done all of the physical and mental exercises one can imagine. But my body is still dealing with the aftermath of a doctor’s decision. A doctor that is now retired. And rumor has it – dead.

I find it more and more difficult to trust health professionals with autoimmune disease. I want to feel better. That doctor hurt me more than he will ever know.

So what’s this post about? I don’t know. I don’t typically vent, but tonight I’m venting. I’m so exhausted from the run around on my health. I’m tired of living in what feels like someone else’s body or being some doctor’s guessing game.

Jesus heal me. I’m frustrated. Amen.